Reading Guide
A Mother Speaks, A Daughter Listens: Journeying Together Through Dementia
Felicia Mitchell
Wising Up Press (2022)
1. The book of poems includes six sections that can be read sequentially as they parallel Audrey's life. While many poems stand alone, the book is set up to have a narrative arc, so some of the poems work better in context as you move page by page. Reflect on themes and topics that are drawn through the entire book.
2. Memory is a major motif, or topic, within the collection, not just within Audrey’s story but in other ways. Think about how important memory becomes to somebody whose memory is shape-shifting and also to those close to the person losing memories.What themes related to memory emerge?
3. Other topics within the book include mother-daughter relationships, marriage, religious beliefs, the life of the mind, and coping with change. What does Felicia seem to be saying about these topics and related themes or messages that evolve from the poems?
4. Why do you think Felicia included words originating from Audrey, either orally or in letters, rather than simply including poems paraphrasing her mother? What do you learn from her words? What letter or oral history feels especially haunting? Poignant?
5. What kind of person do you think Audrey was in her early life, before dementia, and how do you think that helped her very late in life? Remember, too, that not everyone with dementia retains as much of their personality as Audrey did through hers.
6. In her last several years, when she needed 24-hour nursing care, Audrey was fortunate to live in a nursing home that did not segregate residents with different conditions, which meant that she received mental stimulation and lively socialization. How do you think this experience helped her through her dementia journey? How did the nursing home become a second home to Felicia?
7. Consider how an unexpected word choice, especially one that hearkens back to a very different time in our culture out of the mouth of a person from whom you least suspect it, can alert a family memory to cognitive decline. Think of words others have surprised you with or even of a word or idea you would hate to escape your mind if you ever less control over it. What would you do in such a circumstance?
8. The critic Terry Eagleton says in How To Read A Poem that poetry is “a poem is a fictional, verbally inventive moral statement in which it is the author, rather than the printer or word processor, who decides where the line should end.” Relate this definition to these poems, especially considering (a) how “fiction” means that it is the poet who decides what goes into a poem and shapes the story, even if it is based on real life and (b) what the moral of the overall story is (why Felicia felt compelled to tell it to share some lessons).
9. Ambiguity is another key element of poetry and thus some things are left to the imagination.Paul Harvey hosted a radio show called "The Rest of the Story" for many years. In what ways do these poems fill in "the rest of the story," and what questions do you have to invite more discussion of "the rest of the story" that is not stated explicitly in the poems?
10. When we meet Audrey during her days in hospice, Felicia takes on the persona of her mother to tell the story, writing down Audrey’s “thoughts.” Why did Felicia write poems in her mother’s voice to describe a time in Audrey’s life when she was bedridden and bereft of language? How did Felicia use language to respect the dementia at the same time she liberated Audrey’s brain a little?
11. People experience dementia in different ways, with some commonalities. How does Audrey’s story add to what you have learned from experience, from novels or nonfiction books, from movies, etc.? With your own experiences, most of all, how does this story contrast and or mesh?
12. While Audrey is the main character within the book of poems, Felicia appears as both narrator and/or daughter in different poems. Where do you see her being more vulnerable? Where is she trying to be strong? Do you think she changes over the course of her life as her mother grows and changes, especially through the dementia?
13. Grief is, they say, a process, and we find Felicia addressing that more in the last section of the book (as well as the section in which she writes in Audrey’s voice). Consider how a relationship with someone who has passed continues as we continue to make sense of a person’s life even when that person is gone.
14. What about a dementia experience seems more daunting as you read this collection of poems? Easier to understand? Reflect on how a narrative telling adds to clinical details available, and how sharing your own story to add to this one can help others to learn about something as complicated as dementia.
15. A short book can only do so much to offer a sense of a life. What points of curiosity are raised by the poems in this collection? What else would you like to know?
16. The best questions for a book group include ones you think of and ones your group reflects on collectively. What questions come to mind as you reflect on the story on your own and with others? Add to this list if you like! You are welcome to suggest possible topics (to be shared anonymously here) via the CONTACT link on this website.
2. Memory is a major motif, or topic, within the collection, not just within Audrey’s story but in other ways. Think about how important memory becomes to somebody whose memory is shape-shifting and also to those close to the person losing memories.What themes related to memory emerge?
3. Other topics within the book include mother-daughter relationships, marriage, religious beliefs, the life of the mind, and coping with change. What does Felicia seem to be saying about these topics and related themes or messages that evolve from the poems?
4. Why do you think Felicia included words originating from Audrey, either orally or in letters, rather than simply including poems paraphrasing her mother? What do you learn from her words? What letter or oral history feels especially haunting? Poignant?
5. What kind of person do you think Audrey was in her early life, before dementia, and how do you think that helped her very late in life? Remember, too, that not everyone with dementia retains as much of their personality as Audrey did through hers.
6. In her last several years, when she needed 24-hour nursing care, Audrey was fortunate to live in a nursing home that did not segregate residents with different conditions, which meant that she received mental stimulation and lively socialization. How do you think this experience helped her through her dementia journey? How did the nursing home become a second home to Felicia?
7. Consider how an unexpected word choice, especially one that hearkens back to a very different time in our culture out of the mouth of a person from whom you least suspect it, can alert a family memory to cognitive decline. Think of words others have surprised you with or even of a word or idea you would hate to escape your mind if you ever less control over it. What would you do in such a circumstance?
8. The critic Terry Eagleton says in How To Read A Poem that poetry is “a poem is a fictional, verbally inventive moral statement in which it is the author, rather than the printer or word processor, who decides where the line should end.” Relate this definition to these poems, especially considering (a) how “fiction” means that it is the poet who decides what goes into a poem and shapes the story, even if it is based on real life and (b) what the moral of the overall story is (why Felicia felt compelled to tell it to share some lessons).
9. Ambiguity is another key element of poetry and thus some things are left to the imagination.Paul Harvey hosted a radio show called "The Rest of the Story" for many years. In what ways do these poems fill in "the rest of the story," and what questions do you have to invite more discussion of "the rest of the story" that is not stated explicitly in the poems?
10. When we meet Audrey during her days in hospice, Felicia takes on the persona of her mother to tell the story, writing down Audrey’s “thoughts.” Why did Felicia write poems in her mother’s voice to describe a time in Audrey’s life when she was bedridden and bereft of language? How did Felicia use language to respect the dementia at the same time she liberated Audrey’s brain a little?
11. People experience dementia in different ways, with some commonalities. How does Audrey’s story add to what you have learned from experience, from novels or nonfiction books, from movies, etc.? With your own experiences, most of all, how does this story contrast and or mesh?
12. While Audrey is the main character within the book of poems, Felicia appears as both narrator and/or daughter in different poems. Where do you see her being more vulnerable? Where is she trying to be strong? Do you think she changes over the course of her life as her mother grows and changes, especially through the dementia?
13. Grief is, they say, a process, and we find Felicia addressing that more in the last section of the book (as well as the section in which she writes in Audrey’s voice). Consider how a relationship with someone who has passed continues as we continue to make sense of a person’s life even when that person is gone.
14. What about a dementia experience seems more daunting as you read this collection of poems? Easier to understand? Reflect on how a narrative telling adds to clinical details available, and how sharing your own story to add to this one can help others to learn about something as complicated as dementia.
15. A short book can only do so much to offer a sense of a life. What points of curiosity are raised by the poems in this collection? What else would you like to know?
16. The best questions for a book group include ones you think of and ones your group reflects on collectively. What questions come to mind as you reflect on the story on your own and with others? Add to this list if you like! You are welcome to suggest possible topics (to be shared anonymously here) via the CONTACT link on this website.
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
National Institutes of Health
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-are-signs-alzheimers-disease
Alzheimer’s Foundation of America
https://alzfdn.org/
National Institutes of Health
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-are-signs-alzheimers-disease
Alzheimer’s Foundation of America
https://alzfdn.org/
WISING UP PRESS (Find the We in Them, the Us in You)
http://universaltable.org/librarypoetry/amotherspeaks.html
http://universaltable.org/librarypoetry/amotherspeaks.html